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4 healing ways to help your body (and mind) recover from a horrifying birth experience
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A horrifying birth experience can leave you feeling guilty, disappointed and exhausted. Let your body heal and take the time to care for yourself so that you can meet the needs of your new baby. - photo by Stacey L. Nash
Most women know how they want their childs birth to take place. Whether its a natural birth at home or a planned epidural once you get to the hospital, parents have expectations of how they will feel during and after the birth. But, childbirth can quickly get complicated and before you know it, youre preparing for a C-section instead of breathing deeply while you listen to the soothing sounds of the ocean. Some birth experiences can be so traumatic that mothers can suffer from Post-traumatic stress disorder or Postpartum depression afterwards.

Recovering from a difficult birth experience takes time and patience from everyone involved. Take the time to help your body and mind on the way to recovery.

1. Rest

Physical exhaustion and lack of sleep can affect your ability to think and make decisions that require higher cognitive functions. Every new mom is exhausted, but none more so than one thats just survived a harrowing experience with childbirth. Mentally and physically, you need to give your body time to heal. Dishes, laundry and cleaning can wait. Your focus should be taking care of yourself and your baby.

Accept offers of help with gratitude. Its okay to let others bring meals, help with dishes or vacuum your home while you recuperate. People want to be helpful and you can offer the same kind of support for other mothers someday. Your body needs time to recover and as your body heals, your mind will be better able to cope with the effects of childbirth.

2. Talk about it

Many mothers struggle with the losing the ideal birth they had imagined. Talking about it with someone you trust gives you a chance to work through those feelings. Your spouse, another family member or trusted friend who offers a listening ear can be what you need to work through your trauma. Look for someone who isnt going to dismiss your feelings and truly listens to your concerns.

Many hospitals have support groups, counselors and other resources available to new mothers and their families. This can offer a safe place to discuss issues of sadness, guilt or other emotions surrounding the birth experience.

If youre not comfortable talking with someone, many people find writing a cathartic experience. Writing it down on paper can help focus your thoughts and identify the emotions you are experiencing.

As you talk or write about your experience, you may discover you need professional counseling. Dont hesitate to talk to your doctor or other medical professional who can give you to the help you need.

3. Meditate

Any activity that releases stress and helps calm your mind can help in the healing process after a traumatic birth. Postpartum yoga and meditation are two that many women enjoy because it can be easily modified for the postnatal body. Yoga pairs poses and breathing to help strengthen the body and calm the mind. It has also been shown to reduce the anxiety and stress that come from dealing with a traumatic event.

Using meditation along with yoga can center a tired mind and body for greater mental clarity. Make allowances for your postnatal body which may need modifications for some exercises. Be sure to get your doctors approval before you start any kind of physical activity.

4. Proper nutrition

The body and mind function better when they are getting proper nutrition. While your baby does need you for everything, you can take care of his needs better if your body is properly maintained.

Start by drinking plenty of fluids, more than is necessary to quench thirst especially if you are nursing. A recommended 8 -10 glasses a day is a good place to start. Protein, whole grains, vegetables and fruits are going to leave you feeling more nourished than fast food or packaged snacks. Stock your home with foods that are going to nourish your mind and body so that you can better deal with your emotional needs. Follow your doctors guidelines for postnatal nutrition, including continuing to take prenatal vitamins if directed.

Lastly, give yourself time. It will take time for your body and your mind to heal so it's important to remember to be patient as you rest, talk through your concerns and grief, meditate and focus on eating properly.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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