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12 things you should know about becoming a parent
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Are you thinking about becoming a parent? Here are 12 things you should know beforehand. - photo by Megan Shauri
Parenting is a journey that is hard to describe until youve actually been on it. But there are certain things you can expect to experience as a parent.

Here are 12 things you can plan to experience when becoming a parent:

1. Its not easy

I think we all know becoming a parent is not going to be easy. But it is not until you are faced with problems unique to parents that you realize just how hard it is. Be prepared to face challenges beyond your wildest dreams.

2. Youll make mistakes

No matter how many books you read, how many people you go to for advice, or despite your best effort to follow all the recommendations, you will make mistakes. It is a rite of passage as a parent. Miraculously, somehow our children survive our mistakes.

3. Youll cry a lot

Youll cry because you feel like you are a bad parent. Youll cry because you are worried about your kids. Youll cry because you cant take their pain away. But you will also cry because you have never been so proud. Or youll cry because you are so happy just watching your child sleep.

Basically you will just cry all the time.

4. Every child is different

Just when you think youve got the hang of this whole parenting thing, one of your children will throw a curve ball at you. They will not respond to discipline like your other child did, or they will have a fear that you dont know how to help them with.

Kids are all different despite growing up in the same house with the same parents.

5. Your child will not like you at times

There will be days when your child will tell you exactly how they feel, and it may not be the best emotions. It is hard to hear your child say they do not like you, but it is probably because you are doing something right like not letting them get away with something or telling them no.

Dont worry, in a few minutes your child will get over it and move on.

6. You may not like your child at times

On the flip side there will be moments when you dont like your child. It is hard to believe there may be a time when you do not adore your child, but there are moments when you may feel particularly annoyed or upset with your child. Of course you never stop loving them, but you may stop liking them for a moment or two.

7. You will wonder what you got yourself into

There are days when nothing seems to go right, you feel like a failure as a parent, and wonder what you got yourself into. It happens with everything in our lives, why should parenthood be any different?

Just know those days are usually few and far between- most of the time you cant believe you ever considered not having children.

8. You will find joy in the littlest of things

Whoever thought a bodily function like a fart or burp could be cute? Well it is when it is coming out of your 1 month old.

There is no greater joy than watching your child take their first step, say their first word, or even learn to ride a bike. The little things in life become what you live for, what makes you happy, and what brings your life meaning.

9. You will instantly fall in love with someone

The moment you first see and hold your child for the first time is magical. You suddenly have this love for someone you just met. It is amazing how that feeling continues to grow as your child does.

It is hard to believe you can have this kind of love for multiple people in your life. And each child brings even more love. The love for each child is unique and beautiful. It is not that you love one child more, but you love each child differently. They all have a place in your heart and they fulfill different needs in your life.

10. You will learn to put someone before yourself

If you have not already learned to do this in your life, you will when you have children. You have to. They depend on you for their basic needs. They require you to teach them about life both physically and emotionally, and you do.

You put their needs above your own. You put yourself last and make sure your childs needs are met before your own. You will do this not out of obligation, but because you love them.

11. You will learn the meaning of unconditional love

To love someone unconditionally means you love them no matter what. There is no greater example in our mortal lives then the love a parent has for their child. Despite the sleepless nights, despite the agony and stress they put you through, despite them disappointing you or breaking your heart, you still love them. You love them through the good and the bad.

12. There is no greater job on the planet

What other job will allow you to spend a lifetime getting to know someone? A job that will allow you to experience life through a child's eyes? Or a job that gives you more pride and more love for someone than you ever imagined? It truly is the best job in the world, and I would not trade it for anything.

These are some of the things you will experience as a parent. It is the hardest and best adventure you will ever embark on.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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