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12 things I learned from school-aged children
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I've learned some amazing things from my kids. Two years ago I wrote about 12 things I had learned because I was a mom. Here are 12 things I learned from my school-aged kids. - photo by Nicole Carpenter
I've learned some amazing things from my kids.

Two years ago I wrote about 12 things I had learned because I was a mom. At the time, my children were little. Well, they kept growing and I kept learning.

As parents I dont think the learning is ever complete. After all, were just figuring this parent thing out as we go. And just when we get one stage figured out, its time to move on to the next.

Here are 12 more things Ive learned thanks to my school-aged children:

1. Ive learned I cant always be the cool mom. And actually being the cool mom is rarely my thing. The last time I tried showing off for my kids, I threw a rib out! Often I need to be the supportive mom and the boring mom and the please-do-what-Ive-already-asked mom.

2. Ive learned there are worse things than video games. Of course, all things in moderation, but Ive seen video games expand thinking and encourage imagination. There are television shows I worry about more than video games.

3. Ive learned a good book makes all the difference for all of us. Getting my kids to read every day is hard. Yet, Ive found the right book can re-direct a poor reader, re-connect a distracted parent with eager kids, even re-invigorate an overwhelmed mom to take time for herself.

4. Ive learned a forged signature on homework is not the end of the world. School can be tough and Ive learned to first ask the why behind my kids actions before I punish them over the what.

5. Ive learned few things beat a spontaneous family dance party in the kitchen. We shake it off or whip and nae nae. I smile, laugh and pull a muscle and then everything seems better. For a few moments my kids are impressed with their parents moves, but that quickly changes to embarrassment. (And Ive learned I kind of like the look on their face when Im embarrassing.)

6. Ive learned no time for friends seems to be the worst thing ever. Nothing upsets a hopeful child like the lack of time between the end of homework and the start of dinner. For that matter, Im a better person too when I have time with my friends.

7. Ive learned to drop the gloves. I pick my battles because most things arent worth a fight. Like wearing a tie to church, science experiments in the freezer or glitter scattered everywhere. And then the things I do fight for, I usually win.

8. Ive learned technology is tantalizing. I dont know what its like to be a kid with wi-fi, email, DVRs or hand-held devices. My Walkman wasnt too distracting. So Ive learned its OK to keep changing the rules as I learn how to parent around technology.

9. Ive learned to start the day right. A solid breakfast for me as well as the kids makes a big difference. (I use to forget to feed myself.) And if we can get off to school on-time, without yelling, it's already been a great day.

10. Ive learned I hate chore charts. I hate them because Im always the one to implement them. I hate them because it brings out the please-do-what-Ive-already-asked mom. And I hate that without a good chore chart, the house seems to crumble to (Lego) pieces.

11. Ive learned that hearts really do ache. My heart aches when I watch my kids hurting. It aches when I dont have the answers I need to help them. And it really aches when I look at old pictures or videos and remember how little my children once were. It hurts that I cant get that time back (even though I didnt know how Id ever live through it).

12. Ive learned my kids prefer a babysitter over me. That is, just until bedtime and then nothing seems to beat good-night cuddles with mom. It seems even to bigger kids, moms are still irreplaceable.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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