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11 things to avoid when choosing a day care
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No Caption - photo by Herb Scribner
Parents are hoping to change the first rule of "Fight Club" to: Dont let children do it.

You can find these parents in Cranford, New Jersey, where two day care workers of The Lightbridge Academy Center were charged for encouraging fights between the day cares youngsters, according to The Associated Press.

Police reports say that the two workers encouraged children ages 4 to 6 years old to fight each other for one day in August like it was a scene from the movie "Fight Club," AP reported. The two workers also recorded the fights and shared them on social media. The videos allegedly show children shoving and punching each other, AP reported.

"I am so sad for all the parents who had children involved," one parent, Lindsey Bengivenge Klimuc, said, according to AP. "I hope these awful people get what they deserve."

Though its the fault of the workers and not the day care center, the "Fight Club" danger is just one bad experience kids can encounter while away from home. Here are 11 other things parents should watch out for when choosing a day care.

It doesnt let your child socialize

A 2013 study from Radboud University found that day cares often allow children a better chance at social interactions, which improves a childs social skills, ScienceDaily reported. This is especially true when children spend a lot of time in day care.

Children who are exposed to more days in play school may develop more efficient communication skills because of the greater variety of social situations that they encounter, ScienceDaily reported.

It doesnt have toys

Who didnt love toys as a child? They were the best Christmas gift and the perfect item to use during day care. BabyCenter reported that toys help children build their imagination and social skills. Toys may also help children interpret everyday life events.

For example, if a child sees parents come home with another child, he or she will be more nurturing and family-oriented with the toys to help the child understand how things are changing in their own life, BabyCenter reported.

Its not of the highest quality

A 2010 study form the U.S. National Institutes of Health found that children who are in high-quality day cares that is to say, day cares that offer warmth, support and cognitive stimulation will have higher academic achievement when they become teenagers, according to Reuters.

Those children were also less likely to participate in impulsive and risky behaviors, Reuters reported.

"High-quality child care appears to provide a small boost to academic performance, perhaps by fostering the early acquisition of school readiness skills," James Griffin of the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development told Reuters.

It doesnt encourage physical activity

Children arent getting enough physical activity in day care or early education, according to a new study from the University of Washington in Seattle. The study said that preschoolers in Seattle, for example, spent 30 minutes every day outside. This is despite most guidelines suggesting day care instructors lead one-hour sessions of physical activity and one hour of unstructured free time, the study said.

Physical education and activities can help children increase their academic achievements and avoid obesity, CBS News reported.

"Children need daily opportunities for physical activity not only for optimal weight status, but because physical activity promotes numerous aspects of health, development and well-being," Dr. Pooja Tandon, an assistant professor of pediatrics at the University of Washington in Seattle, told CBS News. Physical activity, which in this age occurs typically in the form of play, promotes cardiovascular, musculoskeletal and mental health and is associated with academic achievement."

It encourages aggressive behavior

The aforementioned day care in New Jersey had two workers who encouraged aggressive and physical behavior between children. But thats not something your day care should have since, as a 2015 study found, day care doesnt often lead to aggressive behavior, according to Science Daily.

The study, published in the Association for Psychological Science, found that day care wont encourage children to be aggressive or exhibit behaviors that would affect their social skills or emotional adjustment, Science Daily reported.

"From a public perspective, our findings are important because they should help ease parents' fears about the potential harms of early non-parental child care," Eric Dearing, the lead author of the study, told Science Daily.

It has too many staff members

Too many staff members may mean your child isnt getting the proper attention, according to Parents magazine. Here are the American Academy of Pediatrics recommendations for child-to-staff ratio:

Under 1 year: 3-to-1

10 to 30 months: 4-to-1

31 to 35 months: 5-to-1

3-year-olds: 7-to-1

It has too much turnover

Do a lot of caregivers leave your day care year after year? That may be a bad sign, according to Parents magazine. Children establish a strong bond with their caregiver. So if the caregiver leaves, it could affect how much your child grows while at day care, Parents magazine reported.

"Children build trust by staying with one primary caregiver over time," Anne Goldstein, a former day care teacher, told Parents magazine. "With continuity of caregiving, there's one person who's attuned to your child's temperament."

It isnt clean

Some day cares are dirty and unsafe, which could put your child at risk for health issues, according to BabyCenter.

Day cares should keep food preparation areas far from the toilets and diaper-changing stations, and all floors, walls and kitchen areas should constantly be cleaned, BabyCenter reported. The facility should be well-maintained, and the staff should wash their hands often to avoid the spread of germs, BabyCenter reported.

It's a red flag if you don't see staff washing their hands after every diaper change (and sanitizing the changing area) or if the center generally looks poorly kept, BabyCenter reported. Pick up a few toys how sticky are they? Is the play area well organized?

It isnt safe

In the same vein, its important for day care facilities to have adequate space for children to move around in, according to BabyCenter. The facilities shouldnt have broken toys or any sharp objects close to the children.

Parents may also want to avoid facilities that dont have impact-absorbing surfaces under swings and slides in their playgrounds.

It doesnt have proper licensing

Day cares with proper licensing are often up to standard on health codes and safety measures, which make them a top choice for parents, according to Child Care Center US. Some day cares have accreditation from the NAEYC, which implies the day care will have high standards, according to the Child Care Center.

Child Care Center US suggests parents familiarize themselves with their state's day care licensing laws before choosing a day care.

While current licensure isn't a guarantee of quality in itself, it does show a commitment to young clients and their parents.

It lacks schedule and curriculum

Parents may also want to avoid day cares that are just winging it, according to Child Care Center. Schedules and curriculums keep children focused, which allow them better opportunities for learning and developing while at day care.

Kids need a dependable routine in order to thrive, and a sound curriculum in order to learn and develop, according to Child Care Center. If activities seem largely unorganized and there is no curriculum in place, it could be a sign of a bad child care center."
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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