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10 things to do when youre not attracted to your husband anymore
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Attraction fades. Does that mean your marriage is over? - photo by Melinda Fox
Attraction and the intimacy it sparks are important aspects of marriage. After all, there are somethings that make your relationship with your husband different from every other relationship in your life.

However, as important as attraction is, it can never be the foundation of your marriage. It is only one aspect out of many that make your husband the man you love.

It's normal for attraction to fade but if you don't handle it correctly, it can cause your marriage to fade as well.

1. Learn your love languages

You might not be feeling attracted to your spouse simply because you aren't feeling loved by him. This doesn't mean that he doesn't love you anymore, but it may mean he isn't expressing it in a way that allows you to feel it. Learn what your love language is and communicate it to your husband. That way he knows that reaching for your hand is a better expression of love for you personally than bringing you a bouquet of flowers.

2. Stop expecting him to meet all your needs

Even though you're one person, you have a lot of varied needs. But your husband is one person as well and that means he doesn't have the ability to meet all those needs. Your friends, kids and other family members all play significant roles in your life and fill needs that your husband can't. Relieving yourself (and your husband) of that expectation will allow you to focus on the ways he does meet your needs, which will revive your attraction.

3. Do something thrilling

Studies show that doing something novel and exciting boosts attraction. If you feel like you've become bored in your relationship, go for a ride on a zipline, go to a rock concert or rob a bank (wait, do not do that). Just do something that will get your adrenaline pumping. The influx of adrenaline and other hormones will naturally increase your attraction to your spouse.

4. Avoid pornography

If you're watching pornography, it might have everything to do with your fading attraction for your spouse. In porn, physical flaws are edited out, there are no emotional complications mixed in which (according to many studies) can make you dissatisfied with your partner's appearance, sexual performance and can cause love to fade.

5. Redefine attraction

How do you define attraction? Is it purely based on physical attributes or does it embody something more? There are probably people who are culturally defined as beautiful that you haven't been attracted to. Likewise, you've probably met people who the world dubs "gorgeous" that you have been attracted to. Evaluate what attraction really means to you so that you can accurately start searching for those elements (intellect, sense of humor, etc.) in your spouse.

6. Gaze deeply into his eyes

Believe it or not, there is a study that proves those long looks can actually increase attraction. See how long the two of you can gaze into each other's eyes without laughing or talking. This can be awkward and the time can feel long but I dare you to find out if it rekindles the fire of attraction.

7. Close your eyes

On the other hand, maybe the answer is to keep your eyes sealed shut. When are kissing your husband, get lost in the feeling. Make your focus how he makes you feel. And after all, kissing with your eyes open is creepy.

8. Look to the past

What attracted you to him when you first met? Was it his sparkling teeth or his sparkling personality? Even though it was many moons ago that he first caught your eye, he might still have some of those qualities. If you can focus on what used to make you go weak in the knees like his blue eyes or how cute his laugh is you may be able to regain your attraction to him.

9. Learn something new

But remember too, that your husband may be nothing like the man you fell in love with. You've changed as well Learn about who he is now and find new pieces of him to be attracted to. This takes effort but it's so worth it.

10. Make yourself more attractive

It's possible that this problem isn't all about your husband. You may be projecting your feelings of unattractiveness onto your husband. Trying investing a little time into making yourself attractive and your husband just might appear more attractive as well. Not only that but it can be something the two of you can work on together.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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