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10 things divorced men have in common
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No marriage or divorce is created equal. But there are certain traits ex-husbands seems to share. - photo by Georgia Lee
Divorcees come in all shapes and sizes. But there are a few characteristics that most ex-husbands have in common. Here are 10 things youll likely find in a man who is no longer married:

1. The privilege of marriage

Happiness is a right and marriage is a privilege. A divorced man often sees his marriage as an irreversible right that can never be taken from him, or renegotiated. He likely does not feel he needs to do anything to earn his marriage once hes achieved the wedding. Marriages need to be earned every day, and happily long-married men know this.

2. Friends til the end

Many former husbands would likely admit he wouldn't be friends with his wife if he was not married to her. This is a common mistake many married couples face in the latter years of wedded bliss. When the sparks and butterflies are gone and the wrinkles and gray hairs come in, friendship will keep marriages together well into the golden years.

3. Surface level appreciation

Ask a divorced man what he appreciated about his wife, and youre likely to get an answer that highlights her physical features or emphasizes how she cared for him, his home, and his family. Very few ex-husbands learned to fully appreciate his wife for the woman she truly was. A wife needs to be seen as a whole person and wants to be appreciated for her values, interests, passions and opinions not just her ability to please her husband or other people.

4. Bait and switch

A divorced man can probably pinpoint the differences between the way he treated his woman as a girlfriend or fiance, and the way he treated her once she became his wife. Once down the aisle and over the broom, a man can forget what got him to the altar in the first place. He may truly believe he can behave and treat his wife as he pleases now that hes got her, but the truth may come as a shock.

5. Love and tolerance

In the same vein, an ex-husband may be confused about the nature of true love and tolerance. His wife may love and accept him unconditionally, but no healthy relationship comes with unconditional tolerance of bad behavior and treatment. A wife unwilling to let herself be berated, belittled or abused is a woman who loves herself enough to let her husband go.

6. Conflict resolution

An ex-husband is almost guaranteed to respond to conflict in two ways; escalation or avoidance. A happily married man understands how to deescalate rising tensions and truly address and resolve conflict. He then spreads the affection, love and appreciation on like icing on the cake! This behavior is seldom seen in divorced men.

7. Marriage as a vacation

A man who lost his wife is likely to have seen his marriage as a vacation, or an escape from the world. While it's true that a home should be a sanctuary, and a wife should be a soft place to rest your head, a marriage still requires daily work and maintenance. Dropping the ball at the door will eventually leave a wife feeling unimportant and undervalued.

8. Marriage as a job

Yes, marriage is a job. But it is also a joy. A former spouse has forgotten this and focused on the negative. Counting the work and sacrifices instead of the achievements and beautiful moments will pave the way to the lawyers office.

9. Owning emotions

An ex-husband undoubtedly blamed his former partner for his failures or unhappiness in life. Owning his own emotions is key to taking control of his destiny and working toward improving what isnt working. A man can ask his wife to change her negative attitude or behavior, but he cannot demand she change his mood. No one has control of that but him.

10. Irresponsible behavior

Boys come in all ages, and just because a male gets married, it doesnt make him a man. A fed up wife will often leave her mate because he hasnt outgrown the irresponsible decisions that now greatly affect them both. Excess drinking, drug use, gambling, criminal activity, late nights out, and other dangerous or unhealthy behavior are often used as coping mechanisms in stressful marriages, but will only increase tension and speed up the divorce process.

Every marriage and every divorce is different. But these 10 common qualities of no-longer-married men should give great insight on what not to do if you want to keep your marriage going long and strong.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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