In Romans 12:2, Paul says we shouldn’t conform to the pattern of this world, but that we should be transformed by the renewing of our minds.
The reality is we are in this world and should be eager to engage our culture but not submit to its ideologies that aggressively battle against all that Christ embodies. We live in a society where one night stands or “hook-ups” are weekend expectations, infidelity no longer is a whisper but a booming voice that affects a large number of marriages, and pornography has weaved its way into our households to captivate and imprison our thoughts and emotions.
Our marriages look more like contractual agreements in which terms have been negotiated, and if/when those terms are not met, we feel we have the right to nullify the agreement. The phrase “falling out of love” seems to be one of endearment to our culture. The act of falling implies an occurrence of an accident. Love is not an accident. We choose daily who we love and who we are willing to share our love with.
A paradigm shift has to take place! We have to move away from contractual marriage and embrace a Christ-dominated covenant marriage. Covenant declares, “I’m giving myself to the well-being of my spouse;” it’s sacrificial and servant-minded. The precedent was set when Christ was crucified on the cross; it was God’s proposal to His bride: the church. His concern wasn’t His comfort or His happiness; it was our well-being — what’s best for my bride?
Ezekiel 22:30 (NLT) says, “I looked for someone who might rebuild the wall of righteousness that guards the land. I searched for someone to stand in the gap in the wall so I wouldn’t have to destroy the land, but I found no one.”
Marriage is the “wall of righteousness” that fortifies our society, but the wall has been cracked and breached, causing chaos to penetrate our families and flow into our culture.
Will you be the one who fights for your marriage? Will you be the one who stands in the gap for your family? Are you that someone who will engage the culture, be a change agent and fight for God’s way of marriage? I pray the shift takes place today and the words are rewritten from “finding no one” to “I found you!”

Darsey is the lead pastor of Restoration Church and a member of the United Ministerial Alliance.