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Unfunny 'Emoji Movie' is a sad echo of 2015's 'Inside Out'
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Gene (T.J. Miller) and Hi-5 (James Corden) in The Emoji Movie." - photo by Josh Terry
THE EMOJI MOVIE 1 stars Voices of T.J. Miller, James Corden, Anna Faris, Maya Rudolph, Patrick Stewart, Christina Aguilera; PG (rude humor); in general release

At one point in The Emoji Movie, a depressed character mournfully sings this familiar but unfamiliar refrain:

"Nobody knows the touch screens Ive seen,

Nobody knows my screenshots."

Thats about the brand of humor you can expect from an animated film that feels like a pun and product placement-heavy, poor mans echo of 2015s Inside Out.

In The Emoji Movie, rather than operate the heart and soul of a human being, the cute animated characters that tell the story are operating a pre-teens smartphone. Theres an interesting angle there, but director Tony Leondis film doesnt seem fully aware of it.

The world-within-a-world plot centers around Gene (voiced by T.J. Miller), an emoji who cant stick to his function. He and his peers are supposed to provide cute visual punctuation and tonal clarification to their users text messages. Hes a Meh, which means hes supposed to be indifferent and detached all the time, but unlike his pigeonholed peers, Gene is capable of showing multiple emotions.

Genes rather transparent gift (Hes an individual! Hes not a robot!) causes chaos when the phones adolescent user Alex tries to text his school crush and promptly humiliates himself. Down in Textopolis the name for the app community where the emojis live and work the emoji leader Smiler (Maya Rudolph) decides to delete Gene.

So Gene goes on the run, hoping to get reprogrammed into an obedient little Meh before anti-virus robots blast him into the infinite. Thanks to a little help from his best friend and fellow outcast Hi-5 (James Corden), Gene finds Jailbreak (Anna Faris), a hacker emoji who can supposedly help with his problem. The plan is to navigate their way through the different app worlds on Alexs phone until they can access the Cloud, which will somehow let them reprogram Gene.

In the meantime, Alex has scheduled an appointment to wipe his phones memory, which would of course destroy Textopolis and all the other apps.

The similarities to Inside Out are so obvious its difficult to watch one movie without thinking wistfully of the other. But in its transparent effort to ape the Oscarwinning Pixar film, Emoji Movie just manages to underscore how artificial and superficial our tech dependent, virtual existence is.

The product placement here is egregious. Gene and Jailbreak literally have to play Candy Crush and Just Dance! in order to make their way through the phone, and the glowing portrayal of apps like Instagram and Dropbox, when compared to the mockery doled out to Facebook and YouTube, suggest the makers of Emoji Movie were paid to promote certain apps over others.

Theres also an unfortunate narrative disconnect between Genes world and the plot assigned to Alex we spend so little time with the boy that you almost forget his story is happening. Combined with an ultimate message that seems to reinforce kids dependence on technology to communicate with other human beings, Emoji Movie scores low in most any category (unless you score films by the number of poop jokes from Sir Patrick Stewart).

There are a lot worse animated options out there for parents, but The Emoji Movies derivative nature, weak humor and questionable messaging should direct the family budget elsewhere.

The Emoji Movie is rated PG for rude humor; running time: 86 minutes.
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Have You Seen This? Street musician slays with clarinet
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Better than almost every face-melting guitar or drum solo. - photo by Facebook video screenshot

THE BIG EASY — Yeah, yeah, we all know that New Orleans is stuffed to the gills will incredible musicians.

But knowing that fact and then hearing that fact are two different things. You can step into any number of jazz clubs on any given night on Bourbon Street, and you’ll probably be impressed with virtually every act. Or you can sit at home on your comfy couch and watch this featured video.

In the video, you’ll see a woman who is in the groove. She is swinging hard, and wailing on her clarinet with a practiced expertise that makes it sounds so easy.

From note one you’ll be drawn in; your appreciation will grow with every second, and then your face will melt off when you realize how incredible she really is.

If you’ve never played a woodwind or a brass, you may not know everything that comes with a performance like this. Lung capacity and breath control are huge factors in keeping your notes clear and loud, and hitting those high notes is especially difficult.

So when this woman hits that high note and holds it for several seconds, you know you’re dealing with an exceptional musician. It means she has worked hard for years to develop skill on top of her natural talent, and we get to benefit.

It kinda makes you wonder how we let people get away with mumble rap and autotune when talent like this exists in the world.

I wish this video were longer, and I wish I had more information about this woman, but as it is, we’ll just have to appreciate the little flavor of New Orleans jazz posted by the Facebook group Clarinet Life.

Martha Ostergar is a writer who delights in the ridiculous that internet serves up, which means she's more than grateful that she gets to cruise the web for amazing videos to highlight for your viewing pleasure.
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