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Some fake news is a lot of fun
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President Barack Obama is often the subject of The Onion's parody news articles. - photo by Jim Bennett
Much has been said about fake news since the election last month, but, surprisingly, none of it has been positive.

The fact is that I quite enjoy fake news, and I get a healthy dose of it on a daily basis. For example, today I read an article on with the headline, Obama finally fulfills campaign promise to spend one night in abandoned amusement park. It tells the story of how the president, carrying only a flashlight, a water bottle, and a backpack full of snacks, snuck into the derelict Cedar Plains Family Fun amusement park to spend the night roaming through the ruins of a once-proud fun center.

Between now and sunrise, I will climb to the top of the Ripsaw roller coaster, I will throw a rock through the window of the snow cone stand, and just as Ive said time and time again, I will wander around in the big concrete track where the Lazy River used to be, the president said. Or, more accurately, the article I read said that the president said this. Because the president, of course, didnt actually say this. He didnt say anything close to this because this didnt happen. As far as I know, there is no such thing as the Cedar Plains Family Fun amusement park, let alone a Ripsaw roller coaster. The whole story is complete and utter nonsense.

The thing is that just about everyone who reads it knows, in advance, that what theyre reading is nonsense. This is a piece from the celebrated satirical site The Onion, which also includes such headlines as Thousands of rats tumble about uncontrollably inside Snoopy balloon high above Thanksgiving Day Parade, NFL to curb excessive celebrations by removing areas of players brains responsible for emotions, and, my personal favorite, The Onions 2016 Fish of the Year is this fish, a piece accompanied by a picture of an average-looking fish of an unidentified breed who won this singular honor because of its quiet dignity and resilience in the face of aquatic turbidity.

It should be clear to anyone with half a brain that all of these articles are silly fictions designed to entertain and not inform, but plenty of people have still been duped. In 2012, The Onion named North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un the Sexiest Man Alive, which prompted a news outlet in China to breathlessly report the story as a legitimate honor, complete with a 55-page photo gallery honoring the Pyongyang-bred heartthrob who is every womans dream come true.

And lest you think that no American news organization could make this kind of mistake, remember that even the venerable New York Times, according to the Baltimore Sun, had to issue a retraction after reprinting an Onion-produced parody cover of Tiger Beat magazine featuring the Jonas Brothers and Vanessa Hudgens alongside Barack Obama.

I sing in the shower, the phony Barack was reported as saying. One is left to wonder whether this happens during his presidential wanderings in abandoned amusement parks.

The fact that real news outlets are occasionally bamboozled is half the fun, especially since The Onion goes out of its way to let readers know that what theyre reading is pure hooey. Funny fake news has a long and healthy tradition that predates this election and even the internet. Decades ago, I remember picking up copies of the Weekly World News tabloid in supermarket checkout lines whenever the infamous Bat Boy made an appearance.

Certainly outlets that are trying to deceive are worrisome, but deliberate satire allows us to laugh in the face of real world problems, and I think we need more of it, not less. Also, Elvis is alive, and he may well be in the running for 2017s Fish of the Year.
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Have You Seen This? Street musician slays with clarinet
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Better than almost every face-melting guitar or drum solo. - photo by Facebook video screenshot

THE BIG EASY — Yeah, yeah, we all know that New Orleans is stuffed to the gills will incredible musicians.

But knowing that fact and then hearing that fact are two different things. You can step into any number of jazz clubs on any given night on Bourbon Street, and you’ll probably be impressed with virtually every act. Or you can sit at home on your comfy couch and watch this featured video.

In the video, you’ll see a woman who is in the groove. She is swinging hard, and wailing on her clarinet with a practiced expertise that makes it sounds so easy.

From note one you’ll be drawn in; your appreciation will grow with every second, and then your face will melt off when you realize how incredible she really is.

If you’ve never played a woodwind or a brass, you may not know everything that comes with a performance like this. Lung capacity and breath control are huge factors in keeping your notes clear and loud, and hitting those high notes is especially difficult.

So when this woman hits that high note and holds it for several seconds, you know you’re dealing with an exceptional musician. It means she has worked hard for years to develop skill on top of her natural talent, and we get to benefit.

It kinda makes you wonder how we let people get away with mumble rap and autotune when talent like this exists in the world.

I wish this video were longer, and I wish I had more information about this woman, but as it is, we’ll just have to appreciate the little flavor of New Orleans jazz posted by the Facebook group Clarinet Life.

Street musician killing it on clarinet

She must have lungs of iron! Its inspiring hearing the upper registers being played so well.

Posted by Clarinet Life on Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Martha Ostergar is a writer who delights in the ridiculous that internet serves up, which means she's more than grateful that she gets to cruise the web for amazing videos to highlight for your viewing pleasure.
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