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Movie review: Parents should pass on inferior 'Sherlock Gnomes'
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Sherlock Gnomes (Johnny Depp), Dr. Watson (Chiwetel Ejiofor), Gnomeo (James McAvoy) and Juliet (Emily Blunt) in Sherlock Gnomes. - photo by Josh Terry
SHERLOCK GNOMES 1 stars Voices of Johnny Depp, Kelly Asbury, Mary J. Blige, Emily Blunt, James McAvoy, Michael Caine; PG (rude and suggestive humor); in general release

Inside Out was a creative story about the pains of adolescence, which envisioned an 11-year-old Riley's emotions as individual characters in her brain. Kubo and the Two Strings explored the powerful bonds of family through stunning stop-motion animation. John Stevensons Sherlock Gnomes is a weak pun stretched into a 90-minute feature film.

Not every animated childrens film has to be a moving Oscar contender, and Sherlock Gnomes has its strong points, including a talented cast and a few fits of inspired animation. But Sherlock Gnomes charges parents just as much per ticket as those other superior films, and its tepid concept consistently undermines its foundation.

The film, which is a sequel to 2011s Gnomeo and Juliet, displays a world where ceramic garden gnomes walk and talk when the humans arent watching. Its pretty much the same concept as the Toy Story movies or even 2016s The Secret Life of Pets, and your appreciation for this movie will probably depend on your affection for those quirky little gnomes.

Where the first film was a riff on William Shakespeares Romeo and Juliet, this new installment introduces Sherlock Gnomes (voiced by Johnny Depp), the sworn protector of Londons gnome population. Gnomes works alongside the erstwhile and chronically unappreciated Dr. Watson (Chiwetel Ejiofor) to thwart their sworn enemy Moriarty (Jamie Demetriou), who here is some kind of yellow-orange pie company mascot that is shaped like the Pillsbury Doughboy.

Sherlock is launched into action when a small community of newly relocated garden gnomes goes missing, presumably because Moriarty wants to smash them. The only gnomes to evade kidnapping are Gnomeo and Juliet (James McAvoy and Emily Blunt, back from the first film), who have just been appointed leaders of the community and are having relationship troubles.

The plot then follows a pair of dysfunctional relationships as they try to hunt down Moriarty and save all the garden gnomes. They also have to try to save those dysfunctional relationships, which is how Stevenson and Co. try to give the movie a meaningful message.

The cast, as mentioned, features a laundry list of familiar names, though its unlikely any of them will point to Sherlock Gnomes as much more than a payday. And while the films primary CGI animation is certainly competent, its periodic interludes into a creative black-and-white mode to illustrate the inner workings of Sherlocks brain which feel like an M.C. Escher illustration brought to life are much more interesting to watch.

But in spite of those sporadic positives, most of Sherlock Gnomes just feels like B-side filler, built on a weak idea that can never really justify the effort. This one might keep the kids occupied in a pinch, but parents shouldnt have a tough time finding better options.

The strangest thing about Sherlock Gnomes? Its persistent obsession with Elton John, credited as the films executive producer, in musical cues, dialogue references and the odd visual. Is there a logical connection between the artist and the film, or are they just really excited to feature John wherever they can get away with it? Who knows? Sherlock Gnomes is bound to leave you with a lot of unanswered questions.

Sherlock Gnomes is rated PG for rude and suggestive humor; running time: 86 minutes.
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Have You Seen This? Street musician slays with clarinet
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Better than almost every face-melting guitar or drum solo. - photo by Facebook video screenshot

THE BIG EASY — Yeah, yeah, we all know that New Orleans is stuffed to the gills will incredible musicians.

But knowing that fact and then hearing that fact are two different things. You can step into any number of jazz clubs on any given night on Bourbon Street, and you’ll probably be impressed with virtually every act. Or you can sit at home on your comfy couch and watch this featured video.

In the video, you’ll see a woman who is in the groove. She is swinging hard, and wailing on her clarinet with a practiced expertise that makes it sounds so easy.

From note one you’ll be drawn in; your appreciation will grow with every second, and then your face will melt off when you realize how incredible she really is.

If you’ve never played a woodwind or a brass, you may not know everything that comes with a performance like this. Lung capacity and breath control are huge factors in keeping your notes clear and loud, and hitting those high notes is especially difficult.

So when this woman hits that high note and holds it for several seconds, you know you’re dealing with an exceptional musician. It means she has worked hard for years to develop skill on top of her natural talent, and we get to benefit.

It kinda makes you wonder how we let people get away with mumble rap and autotune when talent like this exists in the world.

I wish this video were longer, and I wish I had more information about this woman, but as it is, we’ll just have to appreciate the little flavor of New Orleans jazz posted by the Facebook group Clarinet Life.

Street musician killing it on clarinet

She must have lungs of iron! Its inspiring hearing the upper registers being played so well.

Posted by Clarinet Life on Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Martha Ostergar is a writer who delights in the ridiculous that internet serves up, which means she's more than grateful that she gets to cruise the web for amazing videos to highlight for your viewing pleasure.
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