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Movie review: 'Goosebumps 2' will get kids in the Halloween spirit — not so much the adults
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Madison Iseman, Jeremy Ray Taylor and Caleel Harris in “Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween." - photo by Daniel McFadden, Columbia Pictures

“GOOSEBUMPS 2: HAUNTED HALLOWEEN” — 2 stars — Wendi McLendon-Covey, Jack Black, Caleel Harris, Jeremy Ray Taylor, Madison Iseman; PG (scary creature action and images, some thematic elements, rude humor and language); in general release

Jack Black has now been featured in two spooky movies this fall. But where Eli Roth’s “The House With a Clock in Its Walls” felt a little too dark and frightening for the kids who should have been its target audience, Ari Sandel’s more kid-friendly “Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween” runs into trouble elsewhere.

Black, who played R.L. Stine in 2015's “Goosebumps,” revives his role as the author of the popular children’s horror novels. In the first film, kids accidentally use Stine’s vast library to unleash a parade of monsters on an unsuspecting town.

Though Stine is more of a background character this time, the plot is pretty much the same. Sarah (Madison Iseman) is a high school senior in the small fictional town of Wardenclyffe, New York, hoping to get accepted to Columbia University. In the meantime, she’s stuck watching her younger brother Sonny (Jeremy Ray Taylor) and his best friend Sam (Caleel Harris) while her single mother (Wendi McLendon-Covey) works at the local nursing home.

Sonny is obsessed with science — for the upcoming science fair, he’s building a working mock-up of onetime resident Nikola Tesla’s “Tesla Tower,” which produced wireless energy. When he and Sam aren’t getting bullied at school, they’re pursuing a side business called “Junk Bros.,” removing junk from old houses in the hopes of discovering lost treasures.

One of the calls leads the Junk Bros. to an abandoned home where Stine used to live. After a little digging, they discover one of the author’s unfinished books, and opening it unleashes a creepy ventriloquist doll named Slappy (voiced by Black).

Initially, Slappy seems like a godsend, dealing with the boys’ bullies and doing their homework in a matter of seconds. But it's soon apparent that Slappy’s true intentions are much more nefarious, and before long, the demon doll unleashes the full force of Halloween on poor Wardenclyffe, with only Sarah and the boys to stop it.

Unlike “House With a Clock,” Sandel’s “Haunted Halloween” operates in more family-friendly spooky territory that should work for younger kids. The downside for the adults traveling along is that screenwriter Rob Lieber’s story is a mess of plot holes and internal inconsistencies. If you take a step back and squint, the movie makes enough sense, but pay any closer attention and the cracks start to show.

Some of the cracks come from unconvincing performances, while others involve nonsensical character motivations — apparently Slappy’s deepest wish is to be part of a family. The premise is weak, and moviegoers are left with a lot of Halloween-themed mayhem with no substance — but that mayhem may be right up the younger kids' alley.

Fans of Stine’s books should know “Haunted Halloween” isn’t a direct adaptation of one of the author’s stories. The credits note that the film is “based” on Stine’s books — plural — and that may partially explain the sloppy execution. With a better story, “Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween” might have been a nice option for the entire family. As is, it’s one that will likely leave adults shaking their heads.

“Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween” is rated PG for scary creature action and images, some thematic elements, rude humor and language; running time: 90 minutes.

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Have You Seen This? Street musician slays with clarinet
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Better than almost every face-melting guitar or drum solo. - photo by Facebook video screenshot

THE BIG EASY — Yeah, yeah, we all know that New Orleans is stuffed to the gills will incredible musicians.

But knowing that fact and then hearing that fact are two different things. You can step into any number of jazz clubs on any given night on Bourbon Street, and you’ll probably be impressed with virtually every act. Or you can sit at home on your comfy couch and watch this featured video.

In the video, you’ll see a woman who is in the groove. She is swinging hard, and wailing on her clarinet with a practiced expertise that makes it sounds so easy.

From note one you’ll be drawn in; your appreciation will grow with every second, and then your face will melt off when you realize how incredible she really is.

If you’ve never played a woodwind or a brass, you may not know everything that comes with a performance like this. Lung capacity and breath control are huge factors in keeping your notes clear and loud, and hitting those high notes is especially difficult.

So when this woman hits that high note and holds it for several seconds, you know you’re dealing with an exceptional musician. It means she has worked hard for years to develop skill on top of her natural talent, and we get to benefit.

It kinda makes you wonder how we let people get away with mumble rap and autotune when talent like this exists in the world.

I wish this video were longer, and I wish I had more information about this woman, but as it is, we’ll just have to appreciate the little flavor of New Orleans jazz posted by the Facebook group Clarinet Life.

Street musician killing it on clarinet

She must have lungs of iron! Its inspiring hearing the upper registers being played so well.

Posted by Clarinet Life on Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Martha Ostergar is a writer who delights in the ridiculous that internet serves up, which means she's more than grateful that she gets to cruise the web for amazing videos to highlight for your viewing pleasure.
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