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Messy 'Bye Bye Man' just doesn't deliver the frights
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Faye Dunaway in The Bye Bye Man. - photo by Josh Terry
THE BYE BYE MAN 1 stars Douglas Smith, Lucien Laviscount, Cressida Bonas; PG-13 (terror, horror violence, bloody images, sexual content, thematic elements, partial nudity, some language and teen drinking); in general release

We can learn many lessons from The Bye Bye Man.

First, never move into a creepy mansion with your beautiful girlfriend and bodybuilder best friend, especially if you are a lanky writer with jealousy issues.

Second, never buy secondhand furniture from a mass murderer.

Last, and most important, never go see horror movies with January release dates.

So three college students move into a creepy, mysterious mansion in Wisconsin. Its creepy because it is virtually empty save for some old furniture piled up in the cellar. Its mysterious because somehow its tenants can afford to live there without paying jobs.

Elliot (Douglas Smith) is the ringleader of the trio, so he discovers the old nightstand with the words, Dont think it. Dont say it, scribbled all over its inside, crazy person style. After a housewarming party, Elliot, his girlfriend/roommate Sasha (Cressida Bonas), his best friend/other roommate John (Lucien Laviscount) and token spiritual medium friend/creepy girl Kim (Jenna Kanell) have a sance. Elliot utters the name, Bye Bye Man, and like Beetlejuice on a bad bender, director Stacy Titles token boogeyman starts having his supernatural way with everyone.

After a few frightening if clichd moments, Bye Bye Man goes bye-bye as its frights quickly enter the realm of nonsensical and borderline goofy. The central idea is that the Bye Bye Man exists in the hallucinating minds of his victims, spreading like a disease whenever his name is mentioned aloud until someone goes just crazy enough to kill everyone who is contaminated. Theres also some stuff about coins dropping on the floor, scratching noises and a muddled train metaphor, but the more you think about this one, the bigger a mess it becomes.

The film's greatest accomplishment might be conjuring up Carrie-Anne Moss and Faye Dunaway for supporting roles more than halfway into the film. But their presence acts as more of a distraction than a boost, as audiences lose track of what the veteran actresses are saying because they are thinking, Why is Faye Dunaway suddenly in this movie?

The films biggest weakness may be its namesake, essentially a guy in white makeup and a hooded coat who hangs around with a badly rendered CGI monster dog. The character seems to exist without context or back story, and looming in the shadows from time to time, beckoning with a bony Ghost of Christmas Future hand, he feels like a placeholder for something that is supposed to be scary.

Still, the worse a horror film gets, the more entertaining it can become, and at times Bye Bye Man threatens to have some real fun. But ultimately Title just digs her narrative hole way too deep and stretches of awkward expository dialogue arent able to make sense of the mess onscreen. Unless this one pops up on late night cable and you have the right kind of crowd, the best advice for The Bye Bye Man may be dont think it, dont say it and dont watch it.

The Bye Bye Man is rated PG-13 for terror, horror violence, bloody images, sexual content, thematic elements, partial nudity, some language and teen drinking; running time: 96 minutes.
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Have You Seen This? Street musician slays with clarinet
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Better than almost every face-melting guitar or drum solo. - photo by Facebook video screenshot

THE BIG EASY — Yeah, yeah, we all know that New Orleans is stuffed to the gills will incredible musicians.

But knowing that fact and then hearing that fact are two different things. You can step into any number of jazz clubs on any given night on Bourbon Street, and you’ll probably be impressed with virtually every act. Or you can sit at home on your comfy couch and watch this featured video.

In the video, you’ll see a woman who is in the groove. She is swinging hard, and wailing on her clarinet with a practiced expertise that makes it sounds so easy.

From note one you’ll be drawn in; your appreciation will grow with every second, and then your face will melt off when you realize how incredible she really is.

If you’ve never played a woodwind or a brass, you may not know everything that comes with a performance like this. Lung capacity and breath control are huge factors in keeping your notes clear and loud, and hitting those high notes is especially difficult.

So when this woman hits that high note and holds it for several seconds, you know you’re dealing with an exceptional musician. It means she has worked hard for years to develop skill on top of her natural talent, and we get to benefit.

It kinda makes you wonder how we let people get away with mumble rap and autotune when talent like this exists in the world.

I wish this video were longer, and I wish I had more information about this woman, but as it is, we’ll just have to appreciate the little flavor of New Orleans jazz posted by the Facebook group Clarinet Life.

Street musician killing it on clarinet

She must have lungs of iron! Its inspiring hearing the upper registers being played so well.

Posted by Clarinet Life on Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Martha Ostergar is a writer who delights in the ridiculous that internet serves up, which means she's more than grateful that she gets to cruise the web for amazing videos to highlight for your viewing pleasure.
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