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Have You Seen This? The baby bottle robot
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As a parent I got excited about this video, and then horrified, and then I couldn't stop laughing. - photo by John Clyde


THE DON'T BUY THIS WAREHOUSE My third child is 9 months old, and she has started sleeping through the night.

But for a while there, we were in the let's-wake-up-every-few-hours-and-eat mode, and it was brutal. I don't function well on 10 hours of sleep, so getting like four solid hours a night was not cutting it. Yes, I wanna sleep like 12 hours a day. I don't even feel bad about it.

Because of that, I got excited when I saw that the title of this video is "Baby Bottle Robot," believing it might solve the problem of hungry babies in the middle of the night. Then I saw it was from the Useless Duck Company and realized I got my hopes up for nothing.

The Useless Duck Company likes to make totally useless inventions that will usually do more harm than good. Some of their products include the Donald Trump Handshake Robot, the Useless Salad Machine and the Toilet Paper Machine 2.0. Suffice it to say, the people at the Useless Duck Company have a great sense of humor and a hope that none of us are dumb enough to try to buy and actually use their products. The Baby Bottle Robot is no exception.

Watch the video and be simultaneously horrified while also dying from laughter. And please remember, this is just a joke, this is not a serious product.
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Have You Seen This? Street musician slays with clarinet
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Better than almost every face-melting guitar or drum solo. - photo by Facebook video screenshot

THE BIG EASY — Yeah, yeah, we all know that New Orleans is stuffed to the gills will incredible musicians.

But knowing that fact and then hearing that fact are two different things. You can step into any number of jazz clubs on any given night on Bourbon Street, and you’ll probably be impressed with virtually every act. Or you can sit at home on your comfy couch and watch this featured video.

In the video, you’ll see a woman who is in the groove. She is swinging hard, and wailing on her clarinet with a practiced expertise that makes it sounds so easy.

From note one you’ll be drawn in; your appreciation will grow with every second, and then your face will melt off when you realize how incredible she really is.

If you’ve never played a woodwind or a brass, you may not know everything that comes with a performance like this. Lung capacity and breath control are huge factors in keeping your notes clear and loud, and hitting those high notes is especially difficult.

So when this woman hits that high note and holds it for several seconds, you know you’re dealing with an exceptional musician. It means she has worked hard for years to develop skill on top of her natural talent, and we get to benefit.

It kinda makes you wonder how we let people get away with mumble rap and autotune when talent like this exists in the world.

I wish this video were longer, and I wish I had more information about this woman, but as it is, we’ll just have to appreciate the little flavor of New Orleans jazz posted by the Facebook group Clarinet Life.

Martha Ostergar is a writer who delights in the ridiculous that internet serves up, which means she's more than grateful that she gets to cruise the web for amazing videos to highlight for your viewing pleasure.
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