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Have You Seen This? The assault trombone
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Enemies beware, because this kid has an assault trombone. Yeah, an assault trombone. - photo by John Clyde


THE BATTLEFIELD Let's cut right to the chase. This video is from all the way back in Oct. 2015. Most of you probably weren't even born yet.

But I'm highlighting it on Have You Seen This because odds are that you haven't watched it yet, even though it's old enough to be your grandfather.

There are a few reasons I love this video. One of those reasons is because it makes me laugh every single time. It's totally absurd, and that's what makes it great. Another reason I love it is because someone took the time to make this contraption, because why not? The main reason I love it, however, is because I'm also a dad and this man's thought process makes total sense to me.

Take a journey into the mind of a dad with me, if you will.

This is likely how the whole scenario played out in this dad's head:

Dad is cleaning out the garage.

In Dad's head: "I totally forgot about this old trombone. I remember I hated practicing this thing."

Later on, still cleaning the garage.

In Dad's head: "Oh my word. Pop Pop's old rifle. I wonder if this thing even fires anymore."

An idea light pops on over Dad's head. He looks at the rifle, then at the trombone, then back to the rifle.

Dad, out loud: "I need my tools."

Dad grabs his tools and spends hours building an assault trombone while ignoring all other duties. Dad finishes the contraption.

Dad, yelling: "Son! Come here!"

Son tests it; it totally works. Proudest moment of Dad's life.

Dad, talking to son, through tears: "See, son. College is worth your time. I'm really grateful I got that engineering degree."

Dad has another idea light pop on over his head.

Dad, to son: "We should make a video."

Hours later the video is done, and the garage is still a mess.

This is exactly why I love this video, because I'm a dad and taking the time to build this odd machine that serves no purpose and then making a video of it makes perfect sense to me.

Keep innovating, dads, and keep putting off cleaning the garage.
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Have You Seen This? Street musician slays with clarinet
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Better than almost every face-melting guitar or drum solo. - photo by Facebook video screenshot

THE BIG EASY — Yeah, yeah, we all know that New Orleans is stuffed to the gills will incredible musicians.

But knowing that fact and then hearing that fact are two different things. You can step into any number of jazz clubs on any given night on Bourbon Street, and you’ll probably be impressed with virtually every act. Or you can sit at home on your comfy couch and watch this featured video.

In the video, you’ll see a woman who is in the groove. She is swinging hard, and wailing on her clarinet with a practiced expertise that makes it sounds so easy.

From note one you’ll be drawn in; your appreciation will grow with every second, and then your face will melt off when you realize how incredible she really is.

If you’ve never played a woodwind or a brass, you may not know everything that comes with a performance like this. Lung capacity and breath control are huge factors in keeping your notes clear and loud, and hitting those high notes is especially difficult.

So when this woman hits that high note and holds it for several seconds, you know you’re dealing with an exceptional musician. It means she has worked hard for years to develop skill on top of her natural talent, and we get to benefit.

It kinda makes you wonder how we let people get away with mumble rap and autotune when talent like this exists in the world.

I wish this video were longer, and I wish I had more information about this woman, but as it is, we’ll just have to appreciate the little flavor of New Orleans jazz posted by the Facebook group Clarinet Life.

Martha Ostergar is a writer who delights in the ridiculous that internet serves up, which means she's more than grateful that she gets to cruise the web for amazing videos to highlight for your viewing pleasure.
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