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Have You Seen This? Bear-pocalypse training
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This may seem like a cruel joke, but really it's just training for the inevitable bear-pocalypse. - photo by John Clyde


TRAINING GROUND Many people try to raise awareness for different things. Many of these things are noble and just causes and I applaud those who support them. As for me, I champion one cause, and that cause is awareness for the bear-pocalypse.

It's no secret that bears scare me to death. In fact, the mere mention of a bear makes me sick to my stomach and the sight of one often makes me dry heave. Bears are terrifying and are planning a hostile take over. They are preparing and learning how to walk like people, climb impossible terrains and hide in plain sight.

For these reasons I cheer on the men who pulled this so-called prank on a friend of theirs. Why? Well, what you call a prank I call bear-pocalypse training.

This unsuspecting worker is going about his work day when he sees a bear and goes into survival mode. What is survival mode you ask? Run. Run like the dickens. The man likely ran faster than he has in his entire life and also likely lost control of all bodily functions and needed to take a sick day afterward. But regardless of the heart palpitations and change of wardrobe this man needed this his friends did him a service. They helped him take another step in his bear-pocalypse training.

So let this be a lesson to all of us. The bear-pocalypse is inevitable, so training is a necessity. Get out there and start scaring your friends to death and help them help themselves.

I am now being told I'm not allowed to support nearly giving your friends and loved ones a heart attack by dressing up like the furry demon, also known as a bear. In that case, just get out there and start running wind sprints and playing dead.
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Have You Seen This? Street musician slays with clarinet
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Better than almost every face-melting guitar or drum solo. - photo by Facebook video screenshot

THE BIG EASY — Yeah, yeah, we all know that New Orleans is stuffed to the gills will incredible musicians.

But knowing that fact and then hearing that fact are two different things. You can step into any number of jazz clubs on any given night on Bourbon Street, and you’ll probably be impressed with virtually every act. Or you can sit at home on your comfy couch and watch this featured video.

In the video, you’ll see a woman who is in the groove. She is swinging hard, and wailing on her clarinet with a practiced expertise that makes it sounds so easy.

From note one you’ll be drawn in; your appreciation will grow with every second, and then your face will melt off when you realize how incredible she really is.

If you’ve never played a woodwind or a brass, you may not know everything that comes with a performance like this. Lung capacity and breath control are huge factors in keeping your notes clear and loud, and hitting those high notes is especially difficult.

So when this woman hits that high note and holds it for several seconds, you know you’re dealing with an exceptional musician. It means she has worked hard for years to develop skill on top of her natural talent, and we get to benefit.

It kinda makes you wonder how we let people get away with mumble rap and autotune when talent like this exists in the world.

I wish this video were longer, and I wish I had more information about this woman, but as it is, we’ll just have to appreciate the little flavor of New Orleans jazz posted by the Facebook group Clarinet Life.

Martha Ostergar is a writer who delights in the ridiculous that internet serves up, which means she's more than grateful that she gets to cruise the web for amazing videos to highlight for your viewing pleasure.
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