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Have You Seen This? Bear-pocalypse training
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This may seem like a cruel joke, but really it's just training for the inevitable bear-pocalypse. - photo by John Clyde


TRAINING GROUND Many people try to raise awareness for different things. Many of these things are noble and just causes and I applaud those who support them. As for me, I champion one cause, and that cause is awareness for the bear-pocalypse.

It's no secret that bears scare me to death. In fact, the mere mention of a bear makes me sick to my stomach and the sight of one often makes me dry heave. Bears are terrifying and are planning a hostile take over. They are preparing and learning how to walk like people, climb impossible terrains and hide in plain sight.

For these reasons I cheer on the men who pulled this so-called prank on a friend of theirs. Why? Well, what you call a prank I call bear-pocalypse training.

This unsuspecting worker is going about his work day when he sees a bear and goes into survival mode. What is survival mode you ask? Run. Run like the dickens. The man likely ran faster than he has in his entire life and also likely lost control of all bodily functions and needed to take a sick day afterward. But regardless of the heart palpitations and change of wardrobe this man needed this his friends did him a service. They helped him take another step in his bear-pocalypse training.

So let this be a lesson to all of us. The bear-pocalypse is inevitable, so training is a necessity. Get out there and start scaring your friends to death and help them help themselves.

I am now being told I'm not allowed to support nearly giving your friends and loved ones a heart attack by dressing up like the furry demon, also known as a bear. In that case, just get out there and start running wind sprints and playing dead.
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