By allowing ads to appear on this site, you support the local businesses who, in turn, support great journalism.
Even Bacon can't give 'The Darkness' any flavor
666878389770ccd1b839dd0d96dcc73853ae8c694098b18f8fd13526392360e5
Kevin Bacon attends the "Imagine: John Lennon 75th Birthday Concert" at Madison Square Garden on Saturday, Dec. 5, 2015, in New York. Bacon stars in "The Darkness." - photo by Josh Terry
THE DARKNESS 1 stars Kevin Bacon, Radha Mitchell, David Mazouz, Lucy Fry, Jennifer Morrison; PG-13 (thematic elements, some disturbing violence, brief sensuality and language); in general release

The Darkness is as bland as its uninspired title. Its a movie built of familiar parts that have been used better elsewhere and add up to the latest installment in a never-ending rotation of disposable B-movie horror films.

Behind the faade of a beautiful Southern California home, the Taylor family is a portrait of dysfunction.

Kevin Bacon stars as Peter Taylor, a successful architect in Los Angeles by day and struggling father whenever he can get away from work.

Peters wife, Bronny (Radha Mitchell), has been withholding affection as a result of their marriage problems, and Peter is having a hard time avoiding the temptation of a beautiful new understudy (Trian Long Smith) his boss (Paul Reiser) has been pushing on him.

Peter and Bronnys teenage daughter, Stephanie (Lucy Fry), is hiding an eating disorder that is just about to be discovered.

The Taylors' autistic son, Michael (David Mazouz), has always been in a world of his own, but things get notably worse after a family outing to the Grand Canyon, where unbeknownst to Mom and Dad, he discovers an ancient Anasazi site and decides to bring home a few souvenirs.

For an hour or so, director Greg McLean takes us through the usual routine of spooky unexplained things happening around the house, until he decides to use a couple of YouTube videos to exposition away the entire plot. Turns out Michael has summoned some angry Anasazi demons to their not-so-happy SoCal home. According to legend, The Darkness is the process by which the demons will lure the family into their doom, starting with their children.

If you swap out the Grand Canyon sequence for a home built on an ancient Native American burial ground, you essentially have the plot of Poltergeist, right down to the moment where Peter and Bronny recruit a spiritual medium to clean the house. One wonders what might have happened had McLean and company decided to set the entire film in the Grand Canyon; at least the scenery would have provided some visual entertainment.

Instead, The Darkness gives us a drawn-out rehash of the demon in the house formula, dragging out 45 minutes worth of plot into an hour and a half of lukewarm horror. Everything down to naming the boy Mikey feels lazy and obligatory, and even the jump scares are halfhearted.

The films official release date was Friday the 13th, which is vaguely notable since the original Friday the 13th was an early landmark in Bacons acting career. But he doesnt seem to be celebrating anything here, and the script isnt giving him any opportunity to demonstrate four decades of acting experience.

The script also undercuts Mitchells performance, while Reisers supporting role is little more than a reminder that he is capable of more substantial things. Fans of TVs Gotham will recognize Mazouz as young Bruce Wayne. Fans may also recognize "Once Upon a Time's" Jennifer Morrison and will no doubt be disappointed after her character a family friend who attends their Grand Canyon excursion is forgotten five minutes into the film.

The Darkness has a hint or two of potential but is much more interested in opting for the quick, well-trod path of familiarity. Frankly, its a path that isnt worth your time.

The Darkness is rated PG-13 for thematic elements, some disturbing violence, brief sensuality and language; running time: 92 minutes.
Sign up for our E-Newsletters
Have You Seen This? Street musician slays with clarinet
638421_Screenshot_1.png
Better than almost every face-melting guitar or drum solo. - photo by Facebook video screenshot

THE BIG EASY — Yeah, yeah, we all know that New Orleans is stuffed to the gills will incredible musicians.

But knowing that fact and then hearing that fact are two different things. You can step into any number of jazz clubs on any given night on Bourbon Street, and you’ll probably be impressed with virtually every act. Or you can sit at home on your comfy couch and watch this featured video.

In the video, you’ll see a woman who is in the groove. She is swinging hard, and wailing on her clarinet with a practiced expertise that makes it sounds so easy.

From note one you’ll be drawn in; your appreciation will grow with every second, and then your face will melt off when you realize how incredible she really is.

If you’ve never played a woodwind or a brass, you may not know everything that comes with a performance like this. Lung capacity and breath control are huge factors in keeping your notes clear and loud, and hitting those high notes is especially difficult.

So when this woman hits that high note and holds it for several seconds, you know you’re dealing with an exceptional musician. It means she has worked hard for years to develop skill on top of her natural talent, and we get to benefit.

It kinda makes you wonder how we let people get away with mumble rap and autotune when talent like this exists in the world.

I wish this video were longer, and I wish I had more information about this woman, but as it is, we’ll just have to appreciate the little flavor of New Orleans jazz posted by the Facebook group Clarinet Life.

Street musician killing it on clarinet

She must have lungs of iron! Its inspiring hearing the upper registers being played so well.

Posted by Clarinet Life on Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Martha Ostergar is a writer who delights in the ridiculous that internet serves up, which means she's more than grateful that she gets to cruise the web for amazing videos to highlight for your viewing pleasure.
Latest Obituaries