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Don't apologize for your unique Christmas musical tastes
Christmas music is universal and personal, and nobody should have to apologize because their yuletide audio tastes are different from someone elses. - photo by Jim Bennett
Its not even Thanksgiving yet, but I'm already bingeing on Christmas music. Yes, I know. Im one of those people.

My new thing this year, as I drown myself in radio Christmas music, is to turn to my iPhone and ask it to tell me whos singing what. As all these old standards are dusted off and taken down from the shelf every year, it's a lot of fun to get the all-seeing, all-knowing Siri to help you tell your Bing Crosbys from your Dean Martins and your Andy Williamses. This usually just confirms what I already know, but Ive found a few surprises along the way.

For instance, did you know when Frank Sinatra sings Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow, hes actually a woman named Anne Shelton singing a song called Crystal Ball?

I know, I know. I couldnt believe it either. But every time Ol Blue Eyes comes on the radio to croon about how the weather outside is frightful, Siri insists that its our new friend Anne warbling on about something that has nothing to do with bringing corn for popping. (Go ahead, crank up Frank and then ask Siri yourself to see what she says. Ill wait.)

Now you may think that's just a mistake, but you'd be wrong. Siri is infallible. Thats my story, and Im sticking to it.

Granted, this isnt that difficult for me. I already have some unusual tastes in Christmas music. For instance, my car radio presets are fixed on two stations that have changed their formats to all Christmas music all the time, yet Ive never once heard either of them play one of my favorite seasonal ditties, Spinal Taps faux-metal classic Christmas with the Devil. And I keep sending these stations the song I wrote about how my babys dirty diaper kept our house from burning to the ground the night of Dec. 25, 2006. Curiously, they dont seem to be interested in a song titled The Miracle of the Christmas Poo, which trust me is far more festive than it sounds.

I also get upset when my kids try to change the station every time Band Aids Do They Know Its Christmas? comes on. They insist its a dreary, miserable dirge about how Africa is a continent where nothing ever grows and no rain or rivers flow, and how the Christmas bells that ring there are the clanging chimes of doom. Talk about festive! When you have a choice between silver bells, jingle bells or doom chimes, which would you clang first?

I, therefore, concede that the song is kind of wretched all the way around, but listen to whos singing it. My goodness, its an all-star lineup of the biggest rock stars in the world! Theyre all there Paul Young, Boy George, George Michael, Simon le Bon, Sting and that guy from Spandau Ballet, whoever he is. (Yes, yes, theres also Bono from U2, but my kids have actually heard of him, so he doesnt count.)

I love this song because it transports me back to my childhood when all these people were legends and not has-beens, and way back when, it was very exciting to hear these guys singing together on the same record. But thats back when there was such a thing as records. And in 2015, apparently Spandau Ballet isnt the hot ticket that it once was.

But so what? Christmas music is universal and personal, and nobody should have to apologize because their yuletide audio tastes are different from someone elses. Unless, of course, you like Christmas Shoes, because that song is awful.
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