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Are you a Back-To-School Super Mom?
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Every year, I start the school year with gusto and lofty goals of being on top of everything all year. Every year, I fail. - photo by Shutterstock

As the summer ends and the kids head back to school, we have a special visitor in our home: Back-To-School Super Mom.

She’s an elusive creature who comes but once each year. If you blink, you’ll miss her for she only stays until about October, sometimes November if the warm weather holds out. And then she’s gone, almost as quickly as she came.

Perhaps you have a Back-To-School Super Mom in your house each fall. You might recognize these telltale signs:

• She comes about two weeks before school starts in a tizzy of back-to-school shopping. She organizes glue sticks and pencils in adorable plastic containers and maybe even labels things with Sharpie markers. She prints and laminates chore charts for the year that will be rigorously enforced until she vanishes mid-fall, leaving the chore charts unmarked and the plastic containers inexplicably filled only with broken crayons.

• She is serious about making a homemade lunch. Nothing will stand in the way of giving her children the best, most love-filled sack of food every day forever. She looks up adorable recipes, writes a daily haiku on a Post-it for her child to read while eating her homemade fruit kabobs. This is, of course, only until she’s gone and her kids have to drag themselves to the school lunch line and pray that regular mom remembered to put money in their account.

• Back-To-School Super Mom has a system for everything. Her calendar is timed to the minute like a synchronized swimming routine. She signs every paper that comes home and has a well-oiled process for incoming library books, outgoing permission slips and anything else that her children bring home in their well-organized backpacks. Don’t get too used to it, though, because in a few months, she’ll be getting reminder emails from teachers about missing field trip forms and will be salvaging report cards smooshed to the bottom of backpacks and soaked in what appears to be a pear residue remnant back from the home-lunch glory days.

• And perhaps the signature hallmark of the Back-To-School Super Mom is that you can count on her to be there on the first day, taking pictures while her darling little one waves at the door with her wrinkle-free first-day outfit and matching Pinterest-worthy braid that spells out “Ready to Learn!” across the back of her head.

When you see this mom, don’t judge her. Every year, without fail, I am her. Even though I know good and well that by the time the leaves start to fall, I’ll be zooming up to the curb on two wheels because we’re late and my child will jump from the car wearing yesterday’s mismatched clothes and hair that hasn’t been brushed in a week.

Trust me, I know good and well that being a back-to-school super mom for nine months is unsustainable. Yet, I do give it my all every single year, believing this is the year I can keep it up. This is the year the daily lunch-making won’t defeat me. This is the year we’ll get up early and be on time. Mark my words — this is the year we actually sit down together and eat breakfast.

So, let me have these few weeks where I’m actually on top of things. Let me bask for a fleeting moment in the glory of being the mom who has it all together.

Because soon enough, Back-To-School Super Mom will be gone. Regular mom will take her place with her sweatpants and excuses. In truth, she’s not so bad. No, there will be no fruit kabobs and haikus come Christmastime, but regular mom makes sure she’s always there to give a hug after school or talk through the day at bedtime with her kids. She may not have it all together, but being amazing all year wouldn’t be fair to back-to-school super mom anyway.

Besides, she’s got to take a little breather before May, when she’ll be back for her brief but manic annual visit as fun-in-the-sun super summer mom.

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Have You Seen This? Street musician slays with clarinet
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Better than almost every face-melting guitar or drum solo. - photo by Facebook video screenshot

THE BIG EASY — Yeah, yeah, we all know that New Orleans is stuffed to the gills will incredible musicians.

But knowing that fact and then hearing that fact are two different things. You can step into any number of jazz clubs on any given night on Bourbon Street, and you’ll probably be impressed with virtually every act. Or you can sit at home on your comfy couch and watch this featured video.

In the video, you’ll see a woman who is in the groove. She is swinging hard, and wailing on her clarinet with a practiced expertise that makes it sounds so easy.

From note one you’ll be drawn in; your appreciation will grow with every second, and then your face will melt off when you realize how incredible she really is.

If you’ve never played a woodwind or a brass, you may not know everything that comes with a performance like this. Lung capacity and breath control are huge factors in keeping your notes clear and loud, and hitting those high notes is especially difficult.

So when this woman hits that high note and holds it for several seconds, you know you’re dealing with an exceptional musician. It means she has worked hard for years to develop skill on top of her natural talent, and we get to benefit.

It kinda makes you wonder how we let people get away with mumble rap and autotune when talent like this exists in the world.

I wish this video were longer, and I wish I had more information about this woman, but as it is, we’ll just have to appreciate the little flavor of New Orleans jazz posted by the Facebook group Clarinet Life.

Martha Ostergar is a writer who delights in the ridiculous that internet serves up, which means she's more than grateful that she gets to cruise the web for amazing videos to highlight for your viewing pleasure.
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