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Have You Seen This? When raccoons commit crimes

POSTED: September 11, 2017 9:11 a.m.
Martha Ostergar/

Wanted posters and satirical news stories are absolutely the right way to handle the criminal raccoon element.

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THE COUNTY FAIR — “A fair is a veritable smorgasbord,” according to Templeton the rat in “Charlotte’s Web.”

For one raccoon at the Geauga County Fair in Ohio, this statement recently became its motto and life path. However, instead of waiting to harvest discarded ground food like any decent, law-abiding scavenger, the raccoon broke into a baked goods tent and munched on cakes and cookies in display cases. The crime made the critter the most wanted criminal at the fair.

The raccoon was not caught on tape, so this story isn’t about catching a thief red-handed. This story is about how PR and news agencies should properly handle a racoon criminal element at a state fair. The answer is to absolutely take the whole thing in stride with a humourous tilt and a satirical news story.

InsideEdition.com took that job to heart and made a charming, satirical video about the bandit. You know it’s going to be good because it starts out with the now-classic “bong, bong” sound effect from the TV show “Law & Order” and uses it liberally throughout.

In a sort of John Stewart/Stephen Colbert-light style, the reporter gets to the heart of the story with deadpan, sarcastic questions to a fair employee. However, the best part may be the wanted poster the fair workers created for the raccoon.

Since they didn’t have an image of the perpetrator, they chose instead to further the villainization of the critter with an internet-famous raccoon image. Basically it looks like the raccoon is rubbing it’s hands together in evil glee, not unlike a Bond villain or Mr. Burns from “The Simpsons.”

Watch the video for the full experience of bad puns and fair entertainment.
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