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Common sense in Cosby trial?

God bless America and how is everybody

POSTED: June 8, 2017 12:48 p.m.
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Argus Hamilton is the host comedian of the Comedy Store in Hollywood and can be reached at argusjoke@yahoo.com.

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HOLLYWOOD—God bless America, and how’s everybody?

Bill Cosby’s trial for drug-rape got underway in Philadelphia this week with attorneys for both sides alternately attacking and defending the star witness. You know that tingly feeling you get when you take the pill that Bill Cosby just offered you? That’s your common sense leaving your body.

O.J. Simpson is reportedly up for parole from the Nevada state prison in July and if paroled he would be eligible for release from prison by October. He’s had the satisfaction of making legal history. Thanks to one of O.J.’s precedent-setting trials, murder is now legal in the state of California.

FBI former director James Comey will testify in the Senate on live network TV Thursday. The competition is stiff. Unless he holds up the severed head of the president, claims to be the House N-Word, or gets arrested while passed out at the wheel that morning, he’ll be lucky to make Page Seven.

Bill Maher apologized Saturday for his casual and joking use of the N-word on his HBO show Real Time the night before. What he said would have ended anyone else’s career but no one’s mentioned it since. Bill might not have to repaint the lawn jockey in front of his house white after all.

Senator Bernie Sanders had to be a little embarrassed Monday when he had to release his financial disclosure forms to comply with federal law for publicly-elected officials. Bernie’s book sales from last year added to his Senate salary made him a millionaire. Socialism is always great for the people in charge.

White House lawyers will ask the Supreme Court to permit the president’s travel ban to go into effect, banning arrivals from terror states. A recent poll said Muslims are the happiest ethnic group living in the U.S. That’s probably because Trump’s travel ban would keep their relatives from visiting.

The London Daily Mail reported Monday that the leader in the radical Islamic terrorist attack on London Bridge had been a cook at KFC. So in the long run the public turned out to be lucky. The guy had no idea how many more Christians he’d have killed with just the fried chicken.

The U.S. arrested a contractor for leaking NSA recordings of Russians trying to hack the U.S. election to the media. The Russkies were never going to get away with it. How lucky we are to live in a country where everyone, regardless of race, creed, religion or national origin, is spied on equally.

Business Week recommended "Insolence of Office" by Ron Wayne about hyper-inflation in the United States since World War II. He famously sold his one-third share in Apple in 1976 for $800. The good news is Ron has thirty-six years of sobriety in Bridge Jumpers Anonymous.

President Trump said Monday that pulling out of the Paris Climate Accord was the right thing for him to do. There’s always a logical method to his madness. President Trump is looking to replace the Paris Climate Accord with a younger, more beautiful climate accord from Eastern Europe.

Evergreen College in Washington was the scene of a riot by students who demanded a Whites Exclusion Day. It was white kids demanding no white kids be allowed on campus. Sometimes, it seems the only thing keeping college leftists from joining ISIS is the insurance premiums on the van.

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